the man on the silver screen

creativity can happen anywhere, anytime and sometimes it surprises you. a while ago i rewatched the old film “sabrina” with harrison ford and julie ormond and in it sabrina is a girl who has grown up loving the youngest son of a rich family but he never notices her until one particular day. i remember sititng there watching thinking what a predator the guy was and wouldn’t you know it, creativity struck and before long i was sitting there writing not watching. here’s the piece that came from that.

the man on the silver screen

he smiles

with predatory eyes

the man on the silver screen

to him

love is but a game

to the victor the spoils

the young girl

 adoringly looks his way

with innocent eyes

she doesn’t see

beyond

beyond her hopes

her dreams

of a long white gown

and champagne

as the band plays on

but he sees

and to him

the game is on

© Lyn Packer

inspired by the film “sabrina”

words, words, sticks and stones

words create – which is why we writers write.

words create realities and worlds which we inhabit by our imagination.

words create us and define us – they create the world we inhabit and live out of. it happens to everyone – but sometimes we don’t recognise it or believe it or we forget it and  we let others throw their word garbage over us and wonder why we end up feeling dirtied.

words had and have a big part in creating who you and i now are.

sometimes we need a closet clean out to happen in our mind – to take out the words that once defined us, or define us now, look at them and ask does this fit, does this suit me – who i am and who i want to be, and if not to chuck those old word clothes out and put on some new ones.

this is a piece i wrote a while ago about words, i know its not a new piece but i was thinking this morning about the power words have and decided that would be a good entry for this blog.

words

words

like a ragged coat

from a childhood long gone

i wear them in my mind.

cold comfort

this coat that no longer fits

but I can’t throw it away.

words

wrapped around my spirit

not wanted

dirty

ugly

unclean

unclean

unclean.

words

my constant companions

childhood bullies

that taunted and hurt

that over time

became me

became who I am.

yet you

see me differently

and call me

to be someone new.

trade coats you say.

can I let go

do I dare try on this new coat

these new words

and see how they fit.

i know I must give up the old

to become the new

so I struggle to surrender

struggle

surrender.

surrender the old

to take hold of the new

so I must

so I do.

new words

seem foreign to my mind.

my new coat

seems too big

yet trust I must

knowing I will grow

until i fit

my new coat

copyright Lyn Packer 2001

while it’s true that we were created and our existance came into being at a particular point in time our creation did not stop on that day. it didn’t stop when childhood ended and our body stopped growing in height. it didn’t stop then and it will never stop. we are still being created – by what others say to us but more importantly what we say to ourselves. those words shape and define us and we will become those words over time.

you have the power to create and everyday you are taking part in making your greatest creation ever – creating you. don’t settle for a second rate creation, don’t settle for being a second-best you, simply because words that no longer have a right to define you are still cluttering your mind closet. chuck them out, put on some new clothes and see yourself stand up straighter in the mirror of life.

you’re worth it!

dance…

as a child I wanted to learn to dance but we had nine kids in the family, were poor and couldn’t afford lessons so that dream was quickly squashed. but somewhere, someone heard and never forgot.

skip ahead to adulthood – the desire returned but this time it was a desire to dance for the audience of one, daddy God. but how could I, I was broken, unclean and not wanted in my hearts eyes, but I danced anyway and as i did daddy God began to heal and cleanse the brokenness inside.

i clearly remember the day daddy God reminded me of that childhood desire and told me he had never forgotten even if i had, he said “i’ll teach you, i know how to dance” and so he did. in the privacy of my lounge with curtains shut so no one would see me make a fool of myself, slowly, hesitantly, unsure of myself and him I began to dance. then came a day when i was standing in church and he asked me to dance for him in public – a battle raged within me but eventually three months later i said yes and danced. funny enough i though people would see brokenness and unsureness, what they saw and received though was healing and desire to be free like me. i had to laugh, i didn’t yet feel thaaat free but they saw something in me that they desired – it was daddys love really that they saw and they wanted it too.

now years later childhood memories no longer sting and where there were tears there is now laughter. now the child within dances free from fear and my heart knows that the words broken, unclean and not wanted no longer apply to me, instead I am whole, healed, righteoussly clean and so wanted it makes my heart want to burst with the happiness of it. no, those aren’t just words either, they are the truth of a life touched and changed by the power of my daddy God’s love.

over the next few entries i’ll share some of my poetry and stories that show my journey into love. but for today – let’s dance!

dance

spinning, arms thrown wide

i dance

laughter wells up within me

i dance

giddy with joy

i drop to the ground

but the dance goes on

inside me

the child within dances

free from fear

and shadows that taunt

she spins and leaps

and spins again

then she bows

as she ends her dance

for her audience of one.

The tears of God

A few years ago I held an exhibition – the theme was the cross and its effects on my love. I took aspects of my life and painted them but also wrote poetry for each artwork. This piece is called “the tears of God” and tells the story of how as i child I used to sit on our doorstep and wish that I could be rescued from the hell i lived in and the abuse I suffered. I longed for someone to love me and all the time I was loved by the one who had created me. I look back now on that child and am thankful that she found the love she was looking for, love that healed and brought laughter and joy.

the tears of God

silently she sits

on the doorstep

alone in her fears

her voice silenced

her emotions

locked up inside

the prison

that is her life

thinking

that no one cares

she doesn’t see

the tears of God

as he longs for her

longs

to wipe away her tears

and dispel her fears

waiting

waiting for her

to discover he’s there

heart of hearts

he hurts as she hurts

heart of hearts

he longs to comfort

and heal

heart of hearts

shown

in the tears of God